Cuts
by EkiraAiram
Summary: Rachel Berry isn't as perfect as she has led people to believe. Warning, may be triggering, cutting.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee**

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><p>I said goodnight to Dad and Daddy and walked up to my room. I had stayed up later than usual so I decided not to put away the washing that was on my dresser and do it tomorrow.<p>

I grabbed the nightdress that was on top and put it on. It was silk and had a pretty floral design on the side. I usually hated the pink it was but I liked this nightdress. However when I put it on my breasts strained against the fabric and my tummy was clearly outlined. All in all it looked disgusting.

Had I really gained that much weight?

I walked the short distance to my wardrobe and started trying on my dresses. Most I hadn't worn in ages. Each time I tried one on I looked at my disgusting bulbous body. In everyone I looked worse. I threw them all on the floor of my closet. I hated my body, but I was calm. I knew what would help.

I grabbed some pajamas, ones that actually fit, and grabbed my required implements. The razor that I always kept hidden. The things to clean up after I was done. I sat on my bed with the razor on the bedside table next to me.

I took some deep breaths to steady my breathing.

I could feel my heart beating a million miles a minute. The fight or flight instinct.

I grabbed the razor and decided which side to cut with. I lowered my pajama shorts slightly off one hip. I knew not to cut on my arms anymore. Although it was extremely tempting and would be more satisfying it was easier to get caught, especially in summer when short sleeves were the norm.

So upper thighs were where I would go to. The first cut is always the hardest. Bringing the razor to the skin and slowly piercing the skin with shaking hands. Not knowing how deep to make the first cut. I would inevitably make it too deep or to shallow. Usually I would just wake horizontal cuts on the skin.

But tonight was special.

The first time I had ever cut I had done this word and I had only ever done it once since then.

UGLY.

I started with the U, of course, I did it a bit too shallow so I went over it again just to make sure it had all sunk in. The G is always harder because it has fiddly bits. I had to go over pieces several times to make sure it looked okay. The L and the Y are easy. Just two lines each. The final line on the Y was deeper than expected because I had gone over it twice not realizing the first cut was sufficient.

It didn't look right at first and the I realized it needed to be underlined. To put emphasis on the word. The line underneath was deep and long. Probably one of the biggest cuts I had ever made.

When I was finished I stowed the razor away and proceeded to blot the cuts with tissue paper. I was always unsure how hygienic this was and I was always scared I might get sick from it. So I always finished off with rubbing the cuts with alcohol wipes. It made the cuts sting.

It felt nice.

The cut never bled that much. They weren't meant to. They were meant to come up with some blood. It wasn't meant to run down my leg. How would I explain that?

I had been using the razor for only a short time.

I started off with glass.

I thought about using a razor for a long time before I actually did. I was terrified at the thought. The first time I used one all I made was a jagged little line that was barely more than a scratch.

The lines were straight and perfect now.

Everything I wanted to be.

It was almost laughable when I thought how my schoolmates would react if they knew about this. Rachel Berry cutting herself like some kind of emo wannabe. I hated that it had that label on it.

In the end I hoped that of I acted like I was perfect it might rub off a bit. If nothing else it would help my acting skills.

Rachel Barbra Berry on Broadway.

I certainly acted the part of a young starlet. However, sometimes however I wished someone would see through the mask that I wore and say 'Hey Rachel, are you okay'.

But I knew it wasn't going to happen anytime soon. Masks were funny things, you can only see through them if you want to look deeper.

Couldn't someone please have looked deeper?

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><p><strong>Hope you like it... <strong>

**Please Review  
><strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee**

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><p>No one had noticed when I had stopped wearing the short skirts.<p>

I had liked them, yes, however you can only stand being shut down again and again so many times before you die a little bit inside.

I know that sounds really dramatic.

Rachel Berry, dying a inside because people teased her about her clothes.

How stupid is that.

What people don't realize is that I hear everything they say about me. I don't brush it away. It isn't meaningless.

Man-hands.

I got a manicure the next day and started a moisturising routine on my hands that would rival Kurt's.

However the short skirts were also put away for a different reason. They were too risky. All I needed was one windy day and the evidence would be shown.

I walked down the corridor of McKinley. The slushys that the Glee club had dreaded were gone now.

After much consideration the faculty had removed the machines. The Glee club hardly ever got picked on now actually. After Karofsky had left much of the bullying had abated.

I wish it was the same for me.

The Glee club in itself was probably more vicious then a slushy could ever be. With the cold treat it was bam, and you were done. You just had to clean yourself up afterwards. However with the hurtful words they lasted days, weeks, months, and years.

I walked to my first class, English. It had always been my favourite class. The words were solid. It was also a great that we learned about Shakespeare and the great playwrights. The perfect way to practise.

That's what I told myself anyway.

But in the end it was the tragedies that appealed to me. Romeo and Juliet committing suicide because there love was to strong for them to be apart.

The love part was neither here nor there, however the suicide...

What would it be like to slip into nothingness, and be nothing?

I think that was the only thing that was stopping me from doing it.

I would want to see my own funereal. See the people mourning me. Although I don't really think there would be many. My Fathers would be, if they could squeeze a hour or so out of their schedules. That was iffy at best. I had no cousins or aunts or uncles. Dad had been disowned by his family when he had told them he was gay. Daddy had been an only child like me, however his parents had died before I was born.

I didn't think anyone from the glee club would come. Maybe just to laugh at me.

I still don't know what I did to make them hate me so much.

The bell rang to interrupt me from my musing.

I walked to my class mechanically. After a couple more subjects it was lunch already. I walked to the library.

When I had first realised it was diabolical going to the cafeteria for lunch I had packed my lunch and eaten it the toilets or outside. However there were problems with those locations. In the toilets it was unsanitary, however I bypassed that at first, however what I hadn't counted on were other girls tormenting me as much if not worse than in the cafeteria. When I started going outside I found out that it was far to open and I was an easy target.

So I had stopped packing lunch and went to the library. I knew I could probably have sneaked food in there, however I was scared that my last hiding place would be taken from me if I were to get caught.

I had the same spot everyday. There were chairs scattered around the library in little cubbyholes for people who wanted to read somewhere quiet. I hadn't seen one other person in one of the spots.

My spot was the best though. It was right at the very back of the library, behind all these dusty bibles. When I first found the area I thought that all the chastity club members would be there lots.

I hadn't seen one yet.

The other reason my spot was so great is because it was right under the air conditioner. So no matter whether it was hot or cold I was always at a comfy temperature.

The final reason was the chair. When they had done an overhaul of the library they had replaced all the chair with modern plastic ones. Which basically meant they were the most uncomfortable things known to mankind.

However they had forgotten to throw mine away. It was a old faded red arm chair. It must have been at least twenty years old, but it was still comfy and I could curl up in it and just forget about the world. A couple of times I had even gone to sleep in it, missing half of my classes.

Like usual I said hi to the librarian, her name was Linda and we had chats about new books she should get in, and went to the chair. I decided not to grab a book today and grabbed my journal out and decided to write some poetry. By saying decided to write poetry, I mean had to write poetry. If I went out and consciously tried to write, it wouldn't work. The words would flow out of my pen if they were meant to, not if I decided they were going to.

Sardonic smile  
>Closed up eyes<br>Letting the cries of the heart  
>Go quiet form the incessant dread<br>Pleading eyes look on silently  
>At the ones with the power<br>Unnoticed fades into shadows  
>Creme and crimson<br>Letting the emptiness  
>Seep into the quiet cold world<br>Warmth  
>For just a moment<br>Then settling back into the blizzard  
>Nothing comes closer<br>Smiles and absent eyes  
>Grow to real<br>Just with the thought...

I didn't really even know if it was real poetry. It was just what I felt. I think I almost made it as clues. Like I wanted someone to find these notes. However on the other hand I guarded the book with my life.

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><p><strong>I decided to continue this story, please review if you would like to read more. Thank you to I'd Rather Live In Books for reviewing.<br>**

**Also the 'poetry' is mine, I hope you like it**...


	3. Chapter 3

**I do not own Glee**

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><p>After getting home after the long day I slumped on my bed and sighed loudly.<p>

Glee had been torture.

Yet again I had brought up my ideas and they had been shot down viciously.

However the worst part had been Santana's scathing opinion of me. No matter how hard I tried to be nice to her or tried to make myself less outspoken and more likeable it never worked.

Most of the time I let it seem as though they hadn't affected me.

However there was the occasional classic storm out preceded by a snarky remark.

Most of the time I just felt more alone then anything. It was like I was sitting in a room and everyone was talking about what was going on in their lives, and I had nothing to contribute. Even if I wanted to contribute to a conversation I had nothing to say. They had heard any stories and the only things that they didn't know were things that they never needed to know.

Why should they have to know that I was lonely most of the time.

That I craved human contact but was never able to initiate it because I felt like I had hardly any idea of social relationships.

I just felt completely out if place.

That I was wading through a swamp wondering if I was going to step into the quicksand and drown underneath it all.

I wanted to get closer to Santana most of all.

Out of all the people in Glee club I felt that she would get my problem the most. I knew that she didn't see much of her Father because he was a doctor and her Mother was always away. I knew that Quinn had drifted away from her since having Beth, and Brittney was too caught up with Artie to even notice that Sanatana was there a lot of the time.

That why it hurt me more when she said those things about me. I knew she was lashing out at an easy target, but I couldn't understand why she couldn't see that if she wanted I would be her most steadfast friend. Or anything else that came along...

However that wasn't the point of it all.

The point was the there was nobody for me.

Sometimes I would stare at Dad and Daddy while we where doing something a scream at them mentally.

'Why can't you see me? Why don't you see that I'm hurting? Why can't you help me? Why am I like this'

It felt like they gave me a cursory glance and then forgot all about me.

It was always, we're going away on a business trip, we just have to get away from it all.

Is that okay with you.

We won't go if you don't want us to.

Tell us if you want us to stay.

What was I meant to say, 'No don't go I need you here!'

No, the answer always was, 'it's fine don't worry about me, have a great time'.

Now they barely told me before they were going away. A couple of times it was just a note on the counter.

They were away in Chicago at the moment, being partners in a law firm had the benefits of travelling together. Just without me.

I had always had to function alone to point though. When I got my period it didn't matter that I had two gay dads, they were still men and it was still awkward getting tampons and the like. I couldn't talk to my dads about relationships, although I probably wouldn't talk to anyone about them.

It felt like I was missing something integral in my life.

Like a best friend or favourite family member that you could tell anything. It felt like when everybody had made their best friends I was doing something and never got mine.

Whilst wallowing on my bed I felt my phone vibrating. I groaned, rolled over, and reached for my bag which was on the floor.

Kurt

Sorry girls night cancelled  
>Dad found out about the<br>boots

I knew the boots he was meaning he had crowed over them at school about a week ago. They were designer and even though they had been slashed in price they still had been pretty hefty.

I texted back my sympathies and wondered what I would do for dinner. I would order pizza however the last time I had got it they had given me cheese on my pizza when I specifically ordered a vegan pizza.

So I wasn't going to go down that road again.

I couldn't be bothered cooking so I decided to go to Breadsticks and get their pasta dish for takeaway. I jogged down the stairs, grabbed my keys off the hook and locked the door on the way out.

I took the longer route to breadsticks. I might as well kill some time before heading back to an empty house with nothing to do.

It took me past Kurt's house. I looked at his house as I drove past and noticed Mercedes just getting out of her car.

She already had her pyjamas on and an overnight bag. When she knocked on the door Kurt greeted her with Quinn at his heels.

My heart lurched and I could barely keep my eyes on the road.

I didn't stop driving.

I'm not stupid, it was obvious what had happened. Obviously Quinn had decided to go and that probably meant that I wasn't invited. I had nothing against Quinn but with all my 'friends' they would pick her over me every time.

I was too high strung. Too loud. Too much.

Not that I really any of those things any more.

I kept driving until I was out of town at a small park that no one really went to any more.

That is when I started crying. I hadn't cried in a long time preferring to use the sting of the blade to numb my emotions. However there was nothing else to do. It was like the one thing that had been keeping me going was finally gone.

The strings had snapped.

I realized what I had to do now.

There was really nothing that was keeping me here.

Absentee fathers, false friends, a girl I was in love with who never looked at me without insults spewing from her mouth.

What was the point of it.

I wiped most of the tears away.

I took a few shuddering breaths trying to get my own body under control.

I started the car.

The tears fell silently now and I did my best to keep them from clouding my eyes so that I could see where I was going.

Once I was on a back road lined with trees I stopped the car.

I grabbed my notepad and a pen from my glove box and penned a quick note.

I started to move forwards I didn't look at the speedometer just kept pushing in the accelerator.

The trees whizzed by me faster and faster until they where just blurs on the edges of my sight.

The tears fell more frequently and I couldn't even see the steering wheel.

The car swerved violently when I tried wiping my eyes.

I tried to correct it for a minute.

The human nature of trying to stay alive overriding my body taking over for a minute.

It was useless though.

My world went dark with a bang.

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><p><strong>Sorry this chapter took so long to come. It was really hard to write and every time I started it a different way it didn't seem right.<br>Thank you to all the people who reviewed.  
>It would be great if you told me what you think of this chapter.<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee**

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><p>Puck<p>

I was sitting in my car when I saw Rachel's car go by.

I knew there was something wrong immediately.

One Rachel never sped she was far too sensible for that. The second was from the very brief glance that I got of her it looked like she was crying.

I knew right away that I had to follow her.

I started my car and turned the car around so I was going in her direction. However by the time I caught up to her it was already too late.

The scene in front of me was unbelievable.

Her car didn't even remotely resemble a vehicle any more.

I got out of my car so fast I nearly fell out.

I sprinted over to her. The smell of gas was overpowering so I knew I had to get her out of the car right away.I opened the driver door and the sight of Rachel overwhelmed me.

There was so much blood.

It stunned me for a moment and I was unable to do anything but stare.

However a groan from her quickly spurred me into action. I quickly undid her seatbelt thanking God it wasn't jammed.

I scooped her in my arms trying to keep her neck stable, Ma's training as a nurse always compelled her to make sure I knew first aid. I carried her out to the first open space I could find and laid her down carefully.

I checked she was breathing and then once I knew she was dialled 911.

"911 what is your emergency?"

Speaking didn't come so easily and my sentences were broken and confusing.

"A car accident...Rachel...down on the backroad by the Aiken farm...Come quickly...so much blood."

"Okay sir calm down, we have paramedics on the way, where is she bleeding from?"

"She's bleeding from her stomach, oh my god what do I do?"

"Sir calm down please, Rachel needs you right now, you need to put pressure on the wound, first make sure there is nothing in the stomach wound and after that use something to try and stem the flow of blood".

I looked at the gaping wound in her stomach. It made me want to throw up, there was so much blood, but luckily there wasn't anything in it. I took off my hoodie and bundled it up so i could press it to her stomach.

As soon as I did she groaned again, and even though I knew I had just caused her pain I was happy to hear a sign that she was still alive, that she hadn't bled out on me yet.

"It's gonna be okay Rachel, Puck's here I can't let you die us Jews have to stick together what would I do in Glee without you?".

I suddenly noticed a piece of paper in her hand. Knowing Rachel it was probably an award or something so I quickly put it in my jeans pocket so it wouldn't get anymore blood on it.

Then suddenly I could hear the sounds of sirens.

"Listen Rachel, they're almost here, don't worry everything is going to be alright." While I was talking to her I was reassuring myself more than her.

Finally the ambulance pulled up and the paramedics took over taking care of Rachel.

"You've done well", one of them said, "we have to get her to hospital now, are you alright to follow us in your car?"

I nodded and then they packed her up. I took a few deep breaths and then got in my car. I must have broken all sorts of speed limits to keep up with the ambulance.

Finally we arrived at the hospital and they unloaded her they took her through some double doors however as I went to go through them they stopped me.

"Sorry son, medical personnel only past here, you can go to the family room and wait there".

I almost hit the stupid doctor in the face, however I knew I couldn't, they were only trying to help Rachel.

I wandered around for a bit, then it finally all hit me and I slumped against a wall in a hallway somewhere. I couldn't believe something like this had happened to Rachel.

I remembered the piece of paper and grabbed it out of my pocket. I was surprised it was a normal piece of paper and not a prize or something. I unfolded it and started to read.

_Dear All_

_I'm sorry to say but I can't live in this world anymore. Nothing can make me stay, I have so much pain inside me but not one of you care about me enough to see it. Why can't you see me, the real me who is dying inside slowly and doesn't even sing anymore._

_ Dad and Daddy when did you stop seeing your daughter and start seeing a piece of furniture in your home who doesn't need any affection or love?_

_ Mr Schuester you seem to take care of all the glee kids but me why can't you see I'm struggling here alone?_

_ Kurt when did you stop being my friend and become an acquaintance who you disinvite to parties?_

_ Glee club when did you become a family that I wasn't a part of?_

_ Santana why can't you see what's right in front of your eyes?_

_Sorry,_

_Rachel_

The tears that I had been holding all night streamed down my face and I called the number that was first on my speed dial after my Mom. It started to ring and when he finally picked up it was with a groggy

"Hello?"

"Mr Schuester? It's Puck I'm at the hospital, it's Rachel."

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><p><strong>Thank you all for all your reviews, I was completely overwhelmed by how many of you liked my story it was so amazing.<br>I hope you like this chapter.  
>Please Review...<strong>


	5. Chapter 5

**I do not own Glee**

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><p>Finding out that someone has died is something you won't forget.<p>

Maybe that's why when you get older and it happens over and over again it always sort of happens the same.

There's the first contact with the news.

A phone call, someone coming over to your house, they might be crying they might be stone faced.

It is always the same version of the same message.

It sounds weird but you can almost start to tell when just by the look on someone's face or the time that they are calling.

When I looked at my cell phone with Puck's number coming up I knew the message on the other end wasn't going to be good. Still I stayed positive and answered the phone with my normal cheer.

As soon as I heard his voice I knew it had to be worse than I could imagine.

"Mr Shuester?" He always called me Mr Shue.

It's Puck.

"I'm at the hospital" My heart sank.

"It's Rachel". The feeling of dread didn't even begin to describe the feeling that overcame me next. I listened to Puck's mumblings about a car accident and overrode him by saying I would be there soon.

I'm in the car now and it feels so strange. It's about 10 at night and it is really peaceful. It's just starting to get into spring and it feels so unreal that this could be happening on a night like this.

There's no wind, and the roads are in perfect condition, the moon is even out and it's giving extra light.

How could Rachel have crashed?

My stomach is continuously twisting itself in knots, and it feels like the closer I get to the hospital the longer this trip is taking.

What am I going to say to the kids if she doesn't make it out of this?

The sign is finally ahead of me so I make my way to the mostly empty car lot and park. I take off my seat belt and take a few good deep breaths.

This is going to be a very long night.

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><p><strong>I'm so sorry I have not updated this story in so long, and I'm sorry it is really short. I'm just trying to figure out where this is going. <strong>

**Any suggestions just leave a comment.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee.**

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><p>Waking up is never as good as going to sleep. Going to sleep is just a drifting experience that you don't even realize you are doing. Waking up is stark. It can happen fast and slow, but be honest. Even when you are excited about the day ahead of you, your bed is so comfy you don't really want to move.<p>

Waking up in a place that is unfamiliar is even worse.

Unfamiliar smells assault you first.

Disinfectant, and a smell that is fresh and stale at the same time.

My eyes feel gritty when I first attempt to open them.

I'm uncomfortable I don't really want to snuggle down and go back to sleep.

However there is a very real desire to stay in a place that is dark and unmoving and to forget the rest of the world.

"Puck"

I grumble at the sound of my name and open my eyes to see Mr Shue standing in front of me. He looks weary. The cliché thing would be to say you would after spending the night in the hospital waiting to hear about one of your students.

However in my head I am thinking, good.

He deserves to suffer.

We all do.

I haven't told anyone about the letter and don't plan to as long as there is some hope that Rachel will come out of this.

Besides at this point he doesn't deserve to know her deepest thoughts.

He who was supposed to bring us together and care about us.

Why hadn't we seen her going into darkness?

"Puck" he says again breaking me from my own scattered thoughts.

"Rachel's parents are almost here and they would like to speak to you."

That was what I liked about being a teenager. All the major grown up responsibilities weren't applied to you. I just had to ring an adult and they did the tough things like telling Rachel's dads about the accident.

Accident.

Funny word that one. I hadn't applied that word to anything.

I believe that everything happens because of something has already happened so nothing is really an accident. Just screwed up situations.

That had never been more true.

It hadn't been an accident when people had started drawing away from Rachel.

It hadn't been an accident when people in Glee had called her names.

It hadn't been an accident when Mr Shue had stayed blind to it all.

It hadn't started with an accident, and the situation we were in now certainly wasn't an accident.

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><p><strong>I thought I would write another chapter just really quickly because this one and the last one was so short. I'm still not really sure where it is going, but thank you to the people who reviewed.<strong>

**Please review**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee**

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><p>Hello?<p>

Can anyone hear me?

Where am I?

It's dark, I can't see. Have I died?

Can someone get rid of the infernal beeping?

I can't feel my body but I'm somehow aware of it.

Has the worst happened? Am I a cripple?

Why didn't I try this in another way?

There are lots of other ways that would have guaranteed my exit from this life and I choose one of the only ones that left me in a state worse than death.

I thought I was suicidal before…

"Rachel…"

"Rachel…."

"C'mon Rachel its Daddy, it's time to wake up."

The awareness of my body started to shift and I began to feel as though parts belonged to me.

With every passing moment a little more came back to me and my eyes which I hadn't even realised I had started to become more tangible.

Opening them is an effort.

I see my dad's standing over me smiling. Daddy has tears in his eyes and they both look exhausted.

Guilt immediately sets in.

I did this to them. They wouldn't be worried if it weren't for me. They now have to deal with their only daughter having tried to off herself.

"Hey baby, how are you feeling, you really gave us a scare, what were you doing out of town, we thought you were going over to Kurt's for a sleepover?"

My thoughts had felt a little muffled until this precise moment. Why weren't they asking why the questions that I thought they would be? Where was the, why didn't you tell us you were feeling like that? What drove you to that point?

They didn't know.

They obviously hadn't found the note.

Who had found me anyway I was miles away from anything it was why I had gone out of town.

This questioning in my mind reached a point where the peace had gone away replaced with thousands of questions and theories.

I took a deep breath and looked at my Daddies. There was obviously two ways I could go with this.

I could tell the truth, tell them exactly how I feel, and everything that happened.

Or the easier option of lying.

"Kurt cancelled the sleepover; he got in trouble with his dad so he couldn't have anyone over." The start of it wasn't even my lie so it just felt oh so easy to continue, "I wanted to get food for the night so I thought I would go for a drive before I went to pick it up. I remember driving out of town but it kinda goes fuzzy after that"

I don't think there was really even an option of telling the truth, realistically how do you tell your parent that no it wasn't an accident. I tried to kill myself. You guys not being around played a factor in that decision.

"What happened?" I asked

"You crashed your car into a tree, Noah Puckerman saw you drive past and saw you crash and was able to call the ambulance, you're lucky to be alive, if he hadn't seen you, you might have not been found until morning and then you wouldn't have had a chance."

Ah, it became clear. Half of me was intrigued by Puck finding me so quickly and the other half was mad that he had. If not for him I would be gone. It was confusing though, did that option fill me with delight or dread.

Either way how had he seen me was a complete mystery.

I shifted in the bed and my body announced its discomfort. I groaned. Everything hurt. How was that even possible, I thought that was meant to be a cliché, but it obviously wasn't.

Dad nodded sympathetically and pressed a button to call the nurse.

"The nurse said when you woke up you would be in pain, she will be here in a moment to give you more painkillers"

"What's wrong with me?"

"You were struck by one of the lower branches in the tree in your stomach. Thankfully it missed pretty much everything apart from your appendix so they were able to patch you up."

"For a while there we weren't sure though" Daddy cut in taking Dad's hand and squeezing it.

"No we knew" said Dad " Our girls a fighter."

That remark filled me with so much self-loathing that I almost broke down, thankfully the nurse bustled in to give me stuff that would hopefully dim the pain, and the feeling.

As she injected the substance into the cannula I watched it as it started to drip into the bag by my bed.

"You will be asleep again pretty soon dearie"

As promised I could already feel the effects as my eyes became more and more difficult to keep open.

The darkness felt comforting once more.

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><p>The second time I woke I thought I was alone.<p>

Dad and Daddy weren't there and I couldn't hear anyone else.

However then I saw Puck sitting next to the bed as I started to get more comfortable.

I thought he was asleep at first but then he started to speak.

"I haven't told anyone" he said

My voice felt strained as I tried to feign ignorance, "about what?"

"About this" he showed me the note in his palm.

It was crumpled as if he had screwed it up and flattened it out multiple times.

"Puck, please don't tell anyone I can't have them knowing they won't treat me the same anymore"

"Treat you the same?" Puck's voice was quiet but deadly, "Treat you the same as they have which has led you to hate life so much you tried to kill yourself? What kind of treatment would be worse than the hate you've already been receiving? Don't think I don't put myself in that group because I do. Sure I stopped teasing you and stopped with the slushies, but I still let it happen to you oblivious of it."

"Noah" I started trying to make him see m reasoning , however before I could start my Dads walked in.

"Hey sweetie, how are you doing" asked Daddy

I smiled and said a lot better, however Puck's eyes burning into that smile made it feel so false I could barely keep it on my face.

"I'm gonna go now Rachel" Puck stood up " I will see you really soon though."

Why did his words sound more like a threat than anything else?

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><p><strong>Okay it has been so long since I updated this story so I thought I better do something about it. I think I have a better idea of where it's going at the moment so I will try to update sooner. No promises though. <strong>

**I would love for you guys to tell me what you think of it. I don't mind if it's just one word.**


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